A bottle of red wine, a charcuterie board, sweetly scented candles… For some people, that’s a romantic date night. For those of us with migraine, it can be a disaster.
Whether you’re going out with someone for the first time or the 50th time, thoughtful planning is key for date-night success. It gets trickier when you have migraine, but we have some tips to help.
Choose the right date for your migraine-friendly date night.
We’re not talking about the person you’re going out with (although they should be migraine-friendly too!) We mean the calendar date. If you’re prone to hormonal migraine attacks at certain times of the month, avoid those days for any romantic plans. Typically, these attacks occur in the two days before your period and the first three days after it begins.
Not sure when your most migraine-prone days occur? The CeCe Migraine Management app can help you figure it out! Use the app to start tracking your symptoms, triggers, attacks and treatment. Over time, you’ll be able to download a personalized report that reveals your unique migraine patterns, which may allow you to predict attacks.
Find a migraine-friendly restaurant.
When you close your eyes and picture a romantic restaurant, the image in your head probably looks something like this: soft lighting, calm ambiance, expert servers, quiet diners… All these qualities can make a restaurant migraine-friendly too.
The atmosphere is only part of the equation, however. You need to make sure the menu can accommodate a migraine diet, if certain foods are triggering. Fine dining establishments vary; some are happy to share information about ingredients or even prepare a meal that omits any problem foods. Other restaurants may have a strict “no substitutions, no special requests” policy. Do your homework before you book your date night.
The Dizzy Cook has some recommendations for where to eat out when you’re following a migraine diet. These include:
- Mexican restaurants, which offer options like veggie fajitas and quesadillas (ask for queso fresco or another non-aged cheese, if possible)
- Italian restaurants, as long as you avoid tomatoes, onions, aged cheese and anything else that triggers you. Salads and simple pastas can be a good bet.
- American restaurants, where you can usually order grilled steak or salmon without complex seasonings as well as yummy, simple sides like salads and baked potatoes.
Or, try a different setting for date night.
Take dance lessons. Have a sunset picnic. Lie on a blanket and stargaze. Go to a comedy or improv show. Check into a romantic hotel — in your own city. Book a walking tour or ghost tour.
Some date-night venues are definitely not good for migraine. Depending on what triggers you, you may want to avoid:
- Places with flashing lights — like a club or an arcade bar
- Escape rooms, which can feature loud bangs and flashing lights while stressing you out
- Festivals and other places with big crowds, where you can’t escape fragrances and you may experience sensory overload
Bring key items from your migraine toolkit.
If you do feel migraine symptoms coming on during your date night, you want to do your best to soothe the pain and abort the attack, if possible. While you can’t carry everything that’s typically in your migraine toolkit, you can bring the essentials, such as rescue medication, sunglasses or migraine glasses, and your CEFALY device plus electrodes.
Haven’t tried CEFALY yet? You’re missing out! CEFALY is a clinically proven, FDA-cleared eTNS medical device that targets the trigeminal nerve to relieve and prevent migraine pain.
Skip the alcohol.
If you’re having a great time, you may be tempted to have just one glass of wine… but if alcohol is a trigger for you, it’s best to totally avoid it. That doesn’t mean you have to go thirsty! Keep in mind that bartenders are getting better and better at making mocktails that are just as delicious and complex as the real thing. They may offer alcohol-free spirits, wine, or beer.
If you really want a drink, then choose wisely. Red wine has often been named as the most common trigger among alcoholic beverages. Sparkling wine is also a headache-maker, as well as dark liquors such as rum and bourbon. Clear spirits such as gin and vodka are least likely to trigger a migraine attack.
Be honest about your comfort level with physical intimacy.
Let’s just say it: Sex can be tricky when you live with migraine. Migraine can cause symptoms that mess with your sex life, such as fatigue, dizziness, and sensitivity. Also, people with migraine are more likely to have experienced a sexual headache: a painful experience associated with arousal.
There are two main types of sex-related headache, according to Dr. Katherine Hamilton, MD:
- A headache that gradually increases in intensity with increasing sexual excitement
- A headache that occurs just before or with orgasm, which tends to be a sudden-onset “thunderclap” headache
“A lot of people who have these headaches, which can be very severe, they simply avoid sexual activity or orgasm in order to prevent the headaches. And they have a lot of fear and anxiety around sexual activity,” Dr. Hamilton said at the Migraine World Summit.
If that describes you, talk to your doctor! Certain migraine medications can help you feel better and avoid sex-related headaches. “Being open and honest with your partners is the most important thing,” Dr. Hamilton said. “And that will, again, help to avoid any miscommunication, any feelings of rejection or frustration, because they hopefully would understand that this is a chronic condition that you’re trying to improve and manage but that can pop up and interfere with life.”
Create space for conversation.
The key to successfully dating with migraine? Communication. If the person you’re seeing is the one you’re truly meant to be with, you shouldn’t have to hide any part of who you are — and that includes your migraine disorder.
For a truly memorable date night, give yourselves a chance to talk honestly. Whether you linger over dessert or take a long walk together, take the opportunity to have meaningful conversations. What are your dreams and passions? What are your fears and regrets? Does your date have questions about migraine that you can answer? Are there things you need them to understand about your life and your limitations? Emotional intimacy is the bedrock of a strong relationship, and will carry you through good times and bad.
